Mark of an Assassin
by Ralthe
Summary: The templars seem to have a moderate control over everything on earth. History, discoveries, and knowledge. Yet somehow, the assassins still leave their mark. Humor fic.


Mark of an Assassin

The templars seem to have a moderate control over everything on earth. History, discoveries, and knowledge. Yet somehow, the assassins still leave their mark. Humor fic.

"So, how much do the Templars control?" Desmond asked, reawakening from his time in the sleek Animus chair, conveniently set up in the moving truck.

"Pretty much everything." Rebecca answered "You name it, they've got partial control over it. Economy? Their major income, setting up multiple companies as fronts. Global Warming? They amplified that too, probably to cover up one of their schemes in the north. A couple of discrete politicians in each country for some manipulation and that's not even the start of it! What brought that up?"

"Surely you didn't pull yourself out of the glorious memories of an assassin just to ask a mundane question." Shaun smirked, casually insulting the former subject 17.

"Knock it off Shaun" Lucy berated, slowing getting sick of the English bloke. It seems as if 7 years away from him infiltrating the templars didn't feel all that long.

"So much to experience. The history, the people, the unfair legal system that brought peasants and simple folk to their deaths, and the murder, of course. Can't forget that. The brutal, method ranging high profile assassinations. I know I wouldn't get out." Shaun japed, secretly lamenting that his ancestors were not of the assassin template.

"Anyways... you were saying Desmond?" She continued, not bringing a comment to the words of the snide historian.

"Right." Desmond began, shifting into an upwards position. "So, they have people in a bunch of important global positions. What about the not-so important ones? Are they interested in that?" He received many a odd glance from his companions. The females had actually taken the time to think before producing a sort of response, but Shaun's eyebrows had almost struck into the skies.

"Ah, yes. I'm afraid we forgot to tell you they have the fast food industry in their grasp. And anything remotely having to do with vampires. They're bizarre like that. But what a killing they make!" Shaun laughed, slowly more and more towards himself as no one else equaled in his sense of humor.

"Ha Ha, very funny." Desmond replied.

"It's possible." Lucy answered. "We don't know exactly how much influence they have. What did you see in the Animus?"

"You remember Ezio's uncle, Mario right? I think I saw a resemblance of something in our time." Desmond recalled. He sometimes liked to go through older missions to acquaint himself further with the lives of his predecessors. Altair was a fearsome assassin from a very young age, capable of much with a hidden blade at his side. Or at someone's throat. Ezio, by the inventions and notes of his good friend of his deceased family Leonardo, had many gadgets to assist him, from a revolutionary gun to numerous upgrades for his pre-existing weapons. He also had the many factions on his side. There were the thieves, the barbarians, and the courtesans. Especially the courtesans.

"Go on." Lucy insisted, trying to keep her eyes on the road as they drove.

"Uncle Mario is like that plumber from those video games-"

"You mean Mario from Super Mario Brothers?" Rebecca squealed, much to their chagrin. "I loved those games when I was a kid! That series was the best, jumping on enemies, collecting cool power-ups.. Good times."

"I never took you to be the gaming type." Desmond continued. "He's Italian, kind of stocky, and he even says 'It's a ME, Mario!'" Desmond said in his best impression of an Italian accent.

"Could a templar have done that?" Lucy pondered, dismissing the fact that they were talking about a short jumping European who got into fights with distorted turtles and monkeys named Donkey.

"It's more likely that it was a fellow assassin." Shaun spoke up, for once offering a straightforward opinion. "Were the Templar even to know of the exploits of the assassins of yesterday, I doubt that they'd be so humble as to leave that kind of evidence in something that would exist for so long. Someone like us probably is getting a big kick out of having our legacy live on." He said, quite smug at the thought as well.

"Didn't I hear something along the lines of 'Templars rewrite history' once?" Desmond pointed out.

"That doesn't mean the assassins haven't done anything like that either. There is no monopoly on manipulation." Shaun smirked, once again getting in another comment of his own.

"He's got a point there" Lucy said, facing away from the front of the windshield for a split moment to get her point across. " The templars would have gotten a hold of that info and deleted it."

"You can't very well obstruct something that has already been released to the general public. It's like spreading information on the internet."

'Or," Rebecca added, "They could have tried to get rid of it through other means!"

"Didn't that overweight mascot have some kind of rival, a fast one?" Shaun continued off of that train of thought, his gaming knowledge being minimal.

"Sonic the Hedgehog?? No way!" Rebecca exclaimed, her scream causing the van to go slightly off course.

"The Templars made up their own character?"

"What better way to fight fire then with fire?" Shaun quoted an old proverb, which fit the case at hand by some margin. "And how did that turn out?..." He stared at Rebecca, waiting for an energetic answer.

"Ah, the Genesis, I used to have one of those. Crashed and burned it did." She began to sulk. " I miss Echo the Dolphin."

"They probably didn't take that too well." Desmond laughed, imaging Templars like Vidic hard at work, trying to take control of the many with small interactive machines. Suddenly, it didn't sound all that strange. He shivered.

"No, they probably didn't. A cog in their engine, if that's how it truly happened."

"They became a third party after that. That's gotta be humiliating, working for your enemies." Rebecca realized.

"Somewhere, some smug assassin is laughing himself to death with irony." Shaun commented dryly, obviously liking the maker's wit.

"But why would the Templars do that?" Lucy asked. "I still think this is a bit weird.."

"Well, they are Templars. They're bound to do crazy shit like that. And besides, running from old men in lab coats planning to rule the world with biblical weapons before the earth is annihilated by a solar flare _isn't_ weird?" Desmond laughed, finally reaching an end to a rather long and bizarre conversation. He laid back on the Animus 2.0 , which somehow looked more comfortable then anything else inside the van.

"Finally something I can agree with you on." Shaun nodded, and turned back to his work.

A/N: Hey everyone, hope you like the bizarre, humorous fic. Original title for this was 'Templars Control Everything'. I personally blame Ubisoft, though it was bloody hilarious watching a Nintendo trademark pop up in AC.

Can anyone guess who my favorite character was while writing this? Good old Shaun, go sarcasm! Lucy's the only sane one, and Rebecca has some awesome gamer sub-culture. Random character traits go! So yeah. I've literally been working on this for a month, I blame video games. Why must they release all the good stuff in March? Anyways, Enjoy the random as hell fic. Thanks to my friend for getting me into AC. Best series ever.


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